Sausage the Kitten

One kitten. One dream. Unlimited sausages.

About Sausage

Sausage is a small kitten with a big passion: sausages. She believes that every meal should contain at least one sausage, and she is usually right. When she is not eating, thinking about eating, or planning her next heist, she enjoys sleeping on warm routers and judging people's cooking from a safe distance.

Species: kitten (professional)
Occupation: sausage quality inspector (self-appointed)
Special skills: fridge surveillance, dramatic sighing, speed-eating, vanishing when it is bath time
Motto: "If it smells like sausage, it belongs to me."

The Official Sausage Rating System

Every sausage is personally tested and rated by a certified panel of one (1) kitten.

Bratwurst ★★★★★
The undisputed champion. No further questions.
Frankfurter ★★★★
A classic. Respectable, even in a bun.
Chorizo ★★★★
Spicy. She coughed once. Worth it.
Cocktail sausage ★★★
Six of them equal one real sausage. She has done the math.
Veggie sausage ★
She is not fooled. Neither should you be.

Sausage's Diary

Selected entries. Spelling has been corrected. Opinions have not.

Monday. The humans had a barbecue. I was not invited. I screamed at the window for one hour. Results: mixed.

Tuesday. Found a cocktail sausage behind the sofa. It was ancient. It was delicious. No regrets.

Wednesday. The fridge opened eleven times today. Zero sausages fell out. The fridge is broken, probably.

Thursday. Slept sixteen hours. Woke up tired. Napped on the warm router. Peak performance.

Photos

Sausage asleep on a warm laptop — Office hours.

Sausage staring at the fridge, waiting — The watch never ends.

Sausage observing a grill from the grass — Stakeout, day one.

More photos will appear when the camera is found. It is probably under the sofa. Next to a sausage.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Sausage her real name? Yes. The vet stopped asking.
Can Sausage endorse my sausage brand? She is very available and not cheap.
Does this website collect data? Only crumbs.